I really don’t know if I am in an exclusive club of one… but shock, horror, dramatic drum roll.. I have never watched the Kardashians! I do have a sneaky suspicion I might be out there on my own on this one. Even to the point that if indeed there is life out there somewhere in the universe it would be The Kardasians they would be tuning into to find out what Life On Earth was all about!
All the rest of my family has their Reality favourites. My daughter loves something about training Cheerleaders in Dallas.. Lots of wafer- thin girls being shouted at by women who wear a LOT of makeup. Each episode the girls prance around in next to nothing and compete to see who can do the splits the best – jealous moi?!
My son likes a programme called Hardcore Pawn. This one is not an X-rated /subscription only programme but about a family who run Pawnshop in the States. The dad looks like Steptoe with a slicked back mullet hair do. The daughter and son just appear to shout at each other each and every episode. A continuous trail of misfits and weirdos come in to the pawn shop to try and sell anything from carousel horses to used plumbing tools, old firetrucks to their spouses jewellery (that guys was found out and beaten up by his girlfriend in the shop!) The best bit is watching the largest man mountain bouncers I have ever seen in my life who ‘gently encourage’ misbehaving patrons to leave!
Finally hubby likes something called Storage Wars where people bid cash for unpaid/unclaimed storage units and then try to make a profit on the contents…I think it appeals to his hidden Del Boy!
But, for me, I’ve never really felt the need/desire or had FOMO where reality shows are concerned. I’m not ashamed to say as well as never watching the Ks, I’ve also never watched TOWIE or Made in Chelsea.
But if I’m honest my innate nosiness means I really would like to understand what the Kardashians are all about, what do they actually do? And why the pop star like appeal? Are they actually talented? Here’s all I know..
- They all have names beginning with K _ why?
- They like having big bottoms, spending money and being followed by the paparazzi.
- Husbands (in the main) can’t cope with the ‘second in command/non alpha male role. ( Scott/Lamar). Noted exceptions Kayne (too arrogant to even contemplate he is not the centre of everyone’s universe) and Bruce who turned himself into a Kardashian looky-likey. Go figure.
- They all have black hair, then blonde, and then back to black.
- Not one of them owns a pair of baggy, boyfriend jeans.
- They are keeping the makeup industry afloat.
Don’t get me wrong I am in no sense a reality snob.. I’m a glutton for celeb gossip I would be bereft without my daily dose of Mail Online – who wouldn’t be??
In fact that is where all my knowledge of the Ks and their lives comes from. If one of them farts or blinks it is news guaranteed to oust anything else from the hallowed top spot of the Mail’s right hand gossip column. Who doesn’t want to know who made Kim’s tightest ever pregnancy dress, or see each in them in rotation in a series of ever more revealing bikini/lingerie? or indeed ‘tastefully’ naked..
I know, I know I’m complaining from a complete point of ignorance but am I wrong? I’m more that happy to be a Kardashian convert but so far no one has given me a valid reason to watch.. In fact when friends have tried to explain about watching their day to day lives in superrich land it sounds god awful. So anyone out there wanna convince me otherwise??